HER DIARIES!

Stupid stupid stupid !

she said to herself over and over all the day , why on earth did she say such stupid words when he told her , don't you wanna see me?? if she would have obeyed herself she would say YES i do , i just miss you ,, but no she had to ruin it all by askin why? we finished all work we have .

What work? who is she fooling anyway? work was just her excuse infront of her mind to see him everyday , talk to him , all the little fights ! and she smiled .

This morning her friend told her , beware he is a womanizer , he got quiet a reputation , love em and leave em ,, and she told her friend that she doesn't care as it's only business relation that connects them together , who is she anyway to compete with all those beautiful gurls he meets everyday?

She is a simple quiet ordinary gurl , yes she has admirers , but she wasn't the type that makes men stop and stare , she knows her limitations ,

Yet she dares to hope !

hope was her only sin , once she had read those words , and ever since she never stop dreaming .. why not? there might be a Cindrella after all , maybe he misses her just alittle .

She felt tired , just wanna know for sure .

Before she closes her eyes she said to herself , tomorrow i 'll call him and fake any reason to meet him

She smiled , tomorrow will be just wonderful .

YESTERDAY

YESTERDAY was hard ..

i had my worst panic attack ..felt strange , dizzy , afraid!

And i needed u

I needed upu but , as usual , you were faraway , i used to feel

sage with you ,

I was talkin to two friends yesterday , the first one is a doctor who wanna be a painter

the second one wanna be a fisherman ! ........ And i loughed ! I laughed because i'm a gurl who wanna be a butterfly or a cat !, a cat , to sit beside you so quitly and doing nothing but meawing to you , just to distract you alittle from your thoughts or books , and i would sleep so quitly beside you , eating from your plate softly . Cats never think they just do , and i need to do , i don't wanna think anymore .

HIS DIARIES.........

October.
the forbidden dream .....!

He wants her !
the way he thinks about her all the time, it was unbearable .
he dreamt of her last night ... Again !
all his dreams about her are vage , smoky , she runs while he tries desperatly to catch her , sometimes she stands in shadows where he cant see clear .. Then he wakes up tired , breathing heavily ..But he feels content . The idea of being close to her even in a dream was enough to be relaxed all day .
Sometimes he misses hearing her voice , and he feels pain , and he keeps remembering all details of thier last talk , the way she laughs , her accent , her quite tune, the way she breathes when she spells his name , her sigh when she thinks to reply his sudden questions .. Every little thing about her simply moves him .
Last time he asked her : dont you wanna see me anymore?
and she said: we finished our project together , why do you wanna see me?
He couldnt reply , how he could tell her that he just misses being with her in same area!
Many times he asked himself , does she know or hear of the other woman in his life? maybe that's why she is reluctant to let herself go with him ? but no , she is not that type , she would simply refuse to talk to him if she heard about the other woman , she's so proud to be the other woman in the life of any man .
The other woman ! and he breathed heavily .. what shall he do about her? it's his family's decision to marry her but that was before he saw the one he wants now , since he met Neren she filled all his senses .
but what he should do about that other woman?
He felt asleep , well , i'll think of it tommorrow
and he closed his eyes.

Bad Day !

It was a baaaad day , sometimes i just wake up feeling im not good ... Usually it's because you are not here anymore , and it's hard , hard to cope with life without you , and you know what?? The hardest is that i can't reach the forever
You are in the forever . and i'm stuck here alone in this time .
Everyday i wake up , stay in bed , thinking about you , then feeling angry of you, remembering all details, words, and i hate you , then feeling love you and swing between hate and love till i leave my bed ........... then i go to work and i meet people i know , i laugh , i joke and talk and do all what i have to do and you are still there , in the background of all day , then i find my mind so loaded of images of you, words to you and i do nothing , i write nothing , i say nothing to noone till i fell asleep like a long coma only to wake up again and find that you are not here.....
And i hate every minute i have to live .
This is my perfect everyday .

EVE's mystery !

Ialways thought that Eve was vicious to pull Adam away from paradaise where he was living casually thinking that he had earned it by his good looks , but as i grew up -hopefully- i came to realize that i was wrong !
Coz simply Eve was smart enough to realize that Adam was meant to scrow up anyway , so it's better to make him scrow up her way ! smart.
Now that was lesson number One from mother Eve , some of us comprehended it and the others are still struggling ................... i guess that simply this is the difference between happy and miserable woman .. The comprehension of Lesson One .

ICE CUBES

SOME people are like ice cubes , frozen and isolated ..

When they melt they are water .. cold , colourless , odourless and totally tasteless.

WHEN u try to reach them they just melt away , slipping through your

hands , and no matter how you try to catch what you can , they never stay

ICE cubes are crystal clear coz they hold nothing inside except, water

ice cubes people are beautiful but so distant

water has no memory

water has no beginning or end

water only flows out!

The Promise

Havent i fullfilled my promise to you???

Once i told you , when it will come between me and you i'll choose you! i dont wanna be smart with you i just wanna be fair to you because i love you.

In love i dont care to be right or wrong , actually i dont wanna win and i dont care if i lost ..

The only important thing is that i fullfilled my promise to you.

I chose you !

but it hurts ......... :)

it's my corner............. finally!

hello my corner
best part of all this is that i can do, say, share anything goes on in my mind without really having to share it

what is the best thing about life?
its life itself .. it's bliss to live and breathe under the sun everyday , and for only this we should be grateful. anything comes further is like a bonus.

Sometimes i wanna many things out of life
I become grumpy and frustrated then i remember im still breathing
and i just feel content again
just wanna be ok i guess .

how about all the unanswered questions in life?
we dig for what we can , get help for what we can and keep what we can , then we gotta forget what we cant get because in the end we are not immortals.

there's a time and we gotta follow all rules
we are not created for nothing .

its for better or for worse .