HER DIARIES!

Stupid stupid stupid !

she said to herself over and over all the day , why on earth did she say such stupid words when he told her , don't you wanna see me?? if she would have obeyed herself she would say YES i do , i just miss you ,, but no she had to ruin it all by askin why? we finished all work we have .

What work? who is she fooling anyway? work was just her excuse infront of her mind to see him everyday , talk to him , all the little fights ! and she smiled .

This morning her friend told her , beware he is a womanizer , he got quiet a reputation , love em and leave em ,, and she told her friend that she doesn't care as it's only business relation that connects them together , who is she anyway to compete with all those beautiful gurls he meets everyday?

She is a simple quiet ordinary gurl , yes she has admirers , but she wasn't the type that makes men stop and stare , she knows her limitations ,

Yet she dares to hope !

hope was her only sin , once she had read those words , and ever since she never stop dreaming .. why not? there might be a Cindrella after all , maybe he misses her just alittle .

She felt tired , just wanna know for sure .

Before she closes her eyes she said to herself , tomorrow i 'll call him and fake any reason to meet him

She smiled , tomorrow will be just wonderful .

YESTERDAY

YESTERDAY was hard ..

i had my worst panic attack ..felt strange , dizzy , afraid!

And i needed u

I needed upu but , as usual , you were faraway , i used to feel

sage with you ,

I was talkin to two friends yesterday , the first one is a doctor who wanna be a painter

the second one wanna be a fisherman ! ........ And i loughed ! I laughed because i'm a gurl who wanna be a butterfly or a cat !, a cat , to sit beside you so quitly and doing nothing but meawing to you , just to distract you alittle from your thoughts or books , and i would sleep so quitly beside you , eating from your plate softly . Cats never think they just do , and i need to do , i don't wanna think anymore .

HIS DIARIES.........

October.
the forbidden dream .....!

He wants her !
the way he thinks about her all the time, it was unbearable .
he dreamt of her last night ... Again !
all his dreams about her are vage , smoky , she runs while he tries desperatly to catch her , sometimes she stands in shadows where he cant see clear .. Then he wakes up tired , breathing heavily ..But he feels content . The idea of being close to her even in a dream was enough to be relaxed all day .
Sometimes he misses hearing her voice , and he feels pain , and he keeps remembering all details of thier last talk , the way she laughs , her accent , her quite tune, the way she breathes when she spells his name , her sigh when she thinks to reply his sudden questions .. Every little thing about her simply moves him .
Last time he asked her : dont you wanna see me anymore?
and she said: we finished our project together , why do you wanna see me?
He couldnt reply , how he could tell her that he just misses being with her in same area!
Many times he asked himself , does she know or hear of the other woman in his life? maybe that's why she is reluctant to let herself go with him ? but no , she is not that type , she would simply refuse to talk to him if she heard about the other woman , she's so proud to be the other woman in the life of any man .
The other woman ! and he breathed heavily .. what shall he do about her? it's his family's decision to marry her but that was before he saw the one he wants now , since he met Neren she filled all his senses .
but what he should do about that other woman?
He felt asleep , well , i'll think of it tommorrow
and he closed his eyes.