!

 You lose once more .

grip your shit together girl .

 Because i hate waiting .. and i hate stalking .. and i hate following you .. but i love you .. i love being with you .. i love talking to you .. Hell , i love you so .
BUT , a big but .. can't just pretend that i don't see the smoke when it blinds my eyes , 
That's why i need to get a grip .. if you want me then you know what to do , if you don't then i'm better off alone ..
Please want me as i want you and grab me before i fall .
Love you like a butterfly loves flames of fire.

ya rab...

ya rab ana 3awza mama ..ezay tb3tly mama? ezay tab awsalaha ..nefsy bas to7dony w terga3 tmoot tany .. 7odn wa7ed bas ya rab , 7odn wa7ed w 5odha tany aw 5odny m3aha .. mfesh 7aga laha ta3m.ana men gherek mlesh 7ad , lonely, lonely 7ata wana f west nas kteer .. 7ata msh 3arfa awsal lel makan ele enty madfona feh , enty de3ty mene yum mamoty , mfesh bena gher a7lam w bas , 7ata el 7elm 2osayar w bas7a tany fe nafs mkany w nafs zamany .. msh h2dar asta7mel aktar .. im on verge of a complete breakdown.

need to change even my hair .

need to change everything in my life badly

need to spread my wings again

stayed too long on land , need to fly away

maybe the colour of the sky will bring peace to me

maybe toughin up my skin will make me protected again

need to search and dig for new pearls

don't wanna lean on anything that might pull me back someday

they say , when you fly you'll raise bigger wings

and bigger wings mean higher and wider scale

need to feel i'm loved , wanted and respected for who i am

not for what i present

need to be loved unconditionly , period .

..................................................

5ayfa w albi bydo2 gamed zay makont ba5af zaman wana soghayara w ab2a 2awza anam ganb mama 3shan a5osh f 7odnaha q tany yum ab2a nasya , nasya ene kont 5ayfa l7ad maygy blel tany w ala2eny brdo 5ayfa ... albi bydo2 awi , ya rab ana malesh gherak , 5alek m3aya.

bordom !

Ever seen the movie ( he's not that into you )/?


it was a bestseller too , it talks about relationships between men and women through surveing into lives of many couples in the movie .. anyway i'm not talkin about the movie , i'm talkin about same concept .. when you are in a relationship and you feel it doesn't satisfy your needs .. first you notice the changes but you give the other party many excuses like he / she might be tired , has problems , stressed , maybe it's your fault in a way , you refuse to think it's perminent and you don't wanna make it an issue , and sometimes you think you are wrong and everything is fine .

Second , this phase continues and you stop tmaking excuses bec simply you realize it's beyond that ( the recognition phase) , in this phase you begin to name things by its true names , ignorance, insensitivity, intolerance .. you reach to a point where you face yourself , it's real and a fact , there's something wrong !

Third . you begin to react , you still in denial but you find some reaction to do , maybe things get improved maybe you can mend it , there must be a chance to fix it ( the trying phase ).. this phase might take quite some time .

Fourth ... the phase of submission , you submit to the idea that things are coming to an end and you should deal with facts .. this phase is severe and depends entirely on your self strength and how much you can handle separation .

Fifth .. the withdrawal phase , severe and hard and loooooong , might end by drastic change in the way you act and the way you feel about everything in life ... then comes the last phase ...

The Tolerance Phase .... you begin to continue life

bordom !

Ever seen the movie ( he's not that into you )/? 

it was a bestseller too , it talks about relationships between men and women through surveing into lives of many couples in the movie .. anyway i'm not talkin about the movie , i'm talkin about same concept .. when you are in a relationship and you feel it doesn't satisfy your needs .. first you notice the changes but you give the other party many excuses like he / she might be tired , has problems , stressed , maybe it's your fault in a way , you refuse to think it's perminent and you don't wanna make it an issue , and sometimes you think you are wrong and everything is fine .

Second , this phase continues and you stop tmaking excuses bec simply you realize it's beyond that ( the recognition phase) , in this phase you begin to name things by its true names , ignorance, insensitivity, intolerance .. you reach to a point where you face yourself , it's real and a fact , there's something wrong !

Third . you begin to react , you still in denial but you find some reaction to do , maybe things get improved maybe you can mend it , there must be a chance to fix it ( the trying phase ).. this phase might take quite some time .

Fourth ... the phase of submission  , you submit to the idea that things are coming to an end and you should deal with facts .. this phase is severe and depends entirely on your self strength and how much you can handle separation .

Fifth .. the withdrawal phase , severe and hard and loooooong , might end by drastic change in the way you act and the way you feel about everything in life ... then comes the last phase ... 

The Tolerance Phase .... you begin to continue life